Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize