i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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