i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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