He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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