while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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