What should our trivia night team be named?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance