A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
try to milk me bitch
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