I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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