OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
