Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
