and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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