she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
