WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
