just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
