We're facebook friends in real life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I had to cum in my sink.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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