Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize