forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
