discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
