What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize