I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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