Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
