Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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