I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
