They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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