Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
