I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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