Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
