I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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