Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
