I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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