when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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