Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize