I need help removing her.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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