I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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