And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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