just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
