Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I painted my nails silver

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And what are the implications of that?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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  (313): I painted my nails silver (586): And what are the implications of that? (313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien http://tfl.nu/iy32
  Replies (3) Good night (2138) Bad night (689)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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  (417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3
  Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (2660)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.

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  (585): I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me. http://tfl.nu/00st
  Replies (28) Good night (4817) Bad night (744)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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  (402): There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win. http://tfl.nu/2dfk
  Replies (8) Good night (4877) Bad night (947)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2687) Bad night (1166)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.

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  (+64): The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me. http://tfl.nu/8v6d
  Replies (1) Good night (1875) Bad night (654)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You want anything?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gatorade and you naked.

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  (802): You want anything? (610): Gatorade and you naked. http://tfl.nu/khdc
  Replies (10) Good night (3667) Bad night (681)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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  (708): what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in? http://tfl.nu/gh3z
  Replies (19) Good night (1234) Bad night (609)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.

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  (310): I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient. http://tfl.nu/0squ
  Replies (1) Good night (1316) Bad night (512)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...

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  (706): Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something... http://tfl.nu/hryz
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (796)
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  (760): View more from California

  Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.

  (818): View more from California

  That was one of the best texts I got today

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  (760): Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner. (818): That was one of the best texts I got today http://tfl.nu/vb5p
  Replies (7) Good night (1798) Bad night (443)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.

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  (307): Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation. http://tfl.nu/c3ab
  Replies (5) Good night (1601) Bad night (414)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.

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  (703): Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic. http://tfl.nu/bmqq
  Replies (11) Good night (1473) Bad night (533)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (290)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"

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  (270): Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!" http://tfl.nu/cswu
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (247)

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