Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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  (248): yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did) http://tfl.nu/wp6c
  Replies (3) Good night (1377) Bad night (553)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"

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  (570): so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses" http://tfl.nu/fgtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4677) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

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  (218): If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me http://tfl.nu/kwsp
  Replies (9) Good night (7518) Bad night (1235)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

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  (817): besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer http://tfl.nu/fbgv
  Replies (7) Good night (1994) Bad night (948)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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  (516): Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer. http://tfl.nu/tp9x
  Replies (5) Good night (2324) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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  (901): I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick http://tfl.nu/35jp
  Replies (11) Good night (4968) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?

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  (618): Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off. (309): Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay? http://tfl.nu/53dx
  Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (2322)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (725)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.

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  (440): We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault. http://tfl.nu/4i3v
  Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking

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  (850): Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking http://tfl.nu/6x7l
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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  (402): Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom http://tfl.nu/4fn6
  Replies (9) Good night (550) Bad night (2408)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler

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  (517): Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler http://tfl.nu/xejb
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless

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  (949): When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless http://tfl.nu/xa8r
  Replies (7) Good night (1279) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

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  (516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (328)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship

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  (540): The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship http://tfl.nu/4d11
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (261)

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