Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.