I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
