Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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  (210): I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy. http://tfl.nu/fwj0
  Replies (53) Good night (6526) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant

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  (519): wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant http://tfl.nu/7q0r
  Replies (191) Good night (944) Bad night (11970)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"

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  (202): we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious" http://tfl.nu/kvms
  Replies (4) Good night (3181) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times

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  (330): I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times http://tfl.nu/jfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (2740) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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  (609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut. (941): it was a krispy kreme http://tfl.nu/o743
  Replies (15) Good night (5256) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius

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  (310): My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius http://tfl.nu/fnfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1758) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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  (434): High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world. http://tfl.nu/0gxn
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.

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  (952): First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale. http://tfl.nu/145n
  Replies (1) Good night (1115) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

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  (937): she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality. http://tfl.nu/ox7x
  Replies (2) Good night (1053) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?

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  (775): Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night? http://tfl.nu/238u
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.

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  (319): I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you. http://tfl.nu/2phb
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  She went to her drug test stoned.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

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  (314): She went to her drug test stoned. (636): And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it. http://tfl.nu/x7e0
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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  (412): i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/djs5
  Replies (20) Good night (1525) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (989): I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/8a6x
  Replies (5) Good night (613) Bad night (252)

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