Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?