did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
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You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America