Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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(816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2

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(678): View more from Georgia

stop calling my apartment porn island.

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(678): stop calling my apartment porn island. http://tfl.nu/7ji0

Replies (15) Good night (4876) Bad night (663)
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(719): View more from Colorado

If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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(719): If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. http://tfl.nu/p2ad

Replies (25) Good night (4653) Bad night (933)
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(970): View more from Colorado

ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

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(970): ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and" http://tfl.nu/hqw1

Replies (20) Good night (6357) Bad night (937)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee

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(314): Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee http://tfl.nu/57zq

Replies (20) Good night (8513) Bad night (1060)
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(516): View more from New York

well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks

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(516): well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks http://tfl.nu/b8ud

Replies (10) Good night (2326) Bad night (552)
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(210): View more from Texas

It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.

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(210): It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after. http://tfl.nu/tury

Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (1398)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?

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(812): Is it too early to say this year has been a blur? http://tfl.nu/q8ht

Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (1083)
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(916): View more from California

I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.

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(916): I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house. http://tfl.nu/a7ly

Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (572)
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(415): View more from California

If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft

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(415): If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft http://tfl.nu/qde3

Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (488)
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(205): View more from Alabama

You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?

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(205): You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street? http://tfl.nu/z15o

Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (236)
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(408): View more from California

This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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(408): This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually http://tfl.nu/dqmb

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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(401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw

Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (270)
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(360): View more from Washington

Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?

(1-360): View more from Washington

I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.

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(360): Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted? (1-360): I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted. http://tfl.nu/if8l

Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (185)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

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(717): But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight http://tfl.nu/x4t9

Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (155)

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