Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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