I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
