Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
3pm strippers are depressing
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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