You're completely useless in the revolution.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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