WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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