Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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