Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
