do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
