I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
