saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
