im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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