just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize