I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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