I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
