I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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