oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize