I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
