I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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