I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
