I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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