we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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