I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
