do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How's work?
Spinning.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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