My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
