mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
