I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
